What does it mean to be a guardian to a sensitive, reactive dog? To show up daily for them and love them so deeply, despite their struggles with the world around them. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Many of you know that I struggle with anxiety and I’ve learned so much about myself through working with dogs and their people. When Manzo was just a nervous teenager I had such a hard time being his advocate because I didn’t yet know how to advocate for myself. Those were very difficult times. By the time Piper entered our lives, I had found a little more courage to be myself and speak up for my dogs. It’s so interesting how different dogs require different things from us and how they teach us different lessons. Piper is no longer earthside, it’s been a few months and even writing that brings tears to my eyes. In her absence somehow I’ve found even more courage. Somehow I’m still here and somehow I can still write to you all. What I have found so supportive though, is that I care even less, about what other people think. Let me explain.
I have always been so afraid of my dog’s reaction to people or other dogs. I know! It’s easy to coach that “other people’s opinions are none of your business.” But in the moment it’s so hard to shed those feelings and the negative self-talk that often comes with them.
“This is so embarrassing.”
“What must they think of me?”
“I don’t have what it takes to fix this.”
I had always been so nervous so I always practiced excellent management and careful exposure and supported my dog as best as possible.
It matters if your dog feels unsafe in their world, around humans, around dogs, around anything. We want them to feel safe and live a happy, beautiful life. If your dog reacts one time on a walk, or if you run into an off-leash dog and there is a screaming match, your dog is probably still leading a beautiful existence even if you’re imperfect. (I say that to you just as much as I do to myself.)
My point? My point is this.
Take the hike.
Book the trip.
Explore that new spot.
Do so safely, but please do go. You and your dog will find wonderful and amazing experiences by finding the courage to explore the world together, despite what anyone else says or thinks.
Last week Jake and I took Manzo to one of our new favorite trails. Since we said, “See you later.” to Piper. (because I refuse to believe it’s a goodbye.) I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone. We take Manzo to fun and new trails almost every day.
We arrived and there was another car in the lot. At first, my stomach sank, “ugh, let’s just go home.” Then I thought, “no!” We can do this! I had all my tools to handle an off-leash dog and I had Jake as backup. I peeked into their car and sure enough, they had dog stuff so we knew to be very alert, and off we went.
Manzo spent loads of time sniffing and tasting the sticks, his favorite pastime. We give Manzo his breakfast on our morning walks so while Jake was offering his kibble now and then, I kept my eyes peeled while reminding myself to relax. The birds were singing, the sun was starting to poke out of the clouds, then we noticed him.
An off-leash labradoodle jogging with his guardian. “Let’s Go!” Jake and I said at almost the same time. This cue is our emergency U-Turn to quickly move a dog away from their trigger. (We teach this in our free mini-course if you are interested in learning more.) Manzo quickly turned and we hustled down the trail, remembering that there was another trail we could take soon.
The trail turned off and we moved quickly down the trail, soon we saw the other dog move by and return to their car. Here is where it gets interesting. We followed what we thought was this trail, I remember thinking to myself as Manzo raced on with Jake in tow, that this trail seemed longer than I remembered. It’s a sad overgrown skidder path with overgrown blackberry bushes and young-growth trees. I wasn’t too worried though, because Manzo was having an absolute blast.
We came out behind an old foundation. We had seen this before from the other side of the trail we thought we were on but we hadn’t realized just how big it was. When we came to the opening we were greeted with dozens of old overgrown apple trees. What was once an apple orchard now was a grassy field and it was soaked with morning dew. Manzo raced around, this way and that, following deer trails and beaming with joy.
We often let Manzo follow his nose and we just hold the leash. Manzo rolled in the grass so much his fur was soaked. Before we knew it we were in a cluster of blueberry bushes. They had been heavily eaten by deer but we managed to scavenge a few ripe berries.
It was stunning. I felt my heart swelling with gratitude for the whole morning and the way things unfolded. The joy on Manzo’s face, having led us to this new and magical place, well it can easily be seen in the photos. So, what is my point? Why have I taken you on this walk with us?
Experiences like this are right here, at everyone’s fingertips. You don’t have to walk your dog on the busy sidewalk or even in your neighborhood to experience them. You just never know what kind of beautiful opportunities lay before you when you advocate for your reactive dog, when you don’t always listen to your anxiety, and when you just enjoy your time together.
Now listen, I know it’s not always that you go for the walk and get to have a beautiful day, somedays you just grip onto the leash and pray it all ends up okay. First, never forget the good walks, even if they are few. Hold them close and remember them to keep you going. Second, let’s find a way for you to enjoy adventures with your dog again. It all starts with understanding, patience, and a little training. I invite you to enroll in our free mini-course, The Distracted Dog, where I teach you how to teach your dog several important cues to help you navigate the world with more confidence. Click here to enroll today.
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